I’m Glad My Apartment Flooded (part 1 of 2)

I’m glad my apartment flooded. Here’s why.

When I woke up to a shirtless white dude furiously banging on my door in the middle of the night, while his family shuffled around the hallway in their pajamas, I was fairly certain I’d be robbed of my (mostly worthless) possessions and stuffed into my IKEA couch cushions, where my roommate would dramatically discover my remains when she got back from her parents’ house the next morning.

For a second, I considered turning the lights back off and going back to sleep (hopeful that they hadn’t noticed the glow from under the door) or even dangling from our 18th floor balcony as a feeble means of escape.

Instead, I mentally counted to three (to hype myself up) before fearfully cracking open the door (to acquire further clarification on my impending demise).

To my delightful surprise, they were not waking me up to contort my lifeless body into IKEA couch cushion cracks. They were just letting me know there was an obscene amount of water rushing into our apartments!

Ohhh, a flood! Thank god! That’s much better!

As satisfying as this initial relief was, it only lasted a moment before the chaos of smashing bath towels along our baseboards and dramatically rescuing belongings to the safety of our dining table and high bookshelves ensued—not to mention the calling building management, then strata, and then the fire department (when none of the people who should have keys to the offending unit did not have keys to the offending unit) to break down the door with an axe (in an ever so majestic display of masculinity).

The days and months to come were (*and still are! Gotta love the inefficiency of home restoration companies!*) terribly stressful, uncertain, and (yes) messy.

If this had happened at any other time in my life, I’m fairly certain I would have crumbled under the chaos and retreated into a cave of negativity and self-pity. BUT! This was not just any other time; THIS was the Year of Mess and oh boy, did I get what I signed up for…